Life Lessons with Grace
by Saundra Berry, C.Ht.
Affirmation: I am exactly where I am supposed to be in my own growth process.
Have you ever asked yourself, “how could this be happening to me?” or “why did I react that way?” Do you find yourself blaming others for the way you “feel?” Could it be that you are exactly where you are supposed to be in your own growth process? Often when people are thinking that “things” are “happening” to them and only them—it is time for a reality check. Things happen, unexpected things, to you, to others, but more importantly for you, for us, to grasp a lesson. I cannot say what lessons you will be learning or what lessons you have already learned, however, I can tell you that we are here to learn. We learn some hard lessons and some not as hard, but, we are always learning.
I believe that we are all here to learn and grow; we can either do it from a place of grace or we can play the victim. I agree that some times things happen that can throw us completely off course, however, be the warrior that you were born to be. You are MUCH STRONGER than you think you are! You can do it! Realize that no matter where you are or what you are experiencing; there is something there for you whether you wish to acknowledge it or not. The question you should be asking yourself is “what is it that I am supposed to be learning from this experience or person?”
There are also times when we think we should be further along on our journey here on earth than we are in reality. Maybe we think we should have gotten that promotion, or the job, or ____________(fill in the blank) whatever it may be. Many will be moved to blame someone else for the reason they are not where they want to be. Know and accept that you are exactly where you are supposed to be for your own evolutionary growth. I’m not saying that you should lie down and take what you are given. In other words, don’t be a doormat for others to abuse, however, what I am saying is--in the way the Universe works, we are brought into or unconsciously create certain people, or situations in order to be delivered to the lesson that we need to learn, at that moment. You might learn how to be more patient, open, or willing to step out of your comfort zone. Whatever it is, know that you have the ability to get through it with grace and love; you don’t have to “suffer through it.”
Give yourself permission to stop and really ask yourself, “What is it that I should be learning here?” I find that if I get quiet and ask that question, I get an answer. Keep in mind, it isn’t always the answer that I want, but it is the answer that I need. Stop, if even for a minute, take a deep breath, ask the question, and listen for the response. For me, it takes place in a split second, the time it takes for me to blink my eyes. It’s like I just get a sense or feeling of what it is that is important in this situation. If you can accept that each situation is there to teach you something that you need to further your growth—why not embrace the change? It’s going to happen whether you are on board or not, right? Why not move through it with grace?
When we ask that question, “What is it that I should be learning here?” Maybe the answer is that YOU need to change something about yourself. Perhaps, it is about changing the way that you look at the person or situation. Perhaps, it is simply about changing your perspective or expectation of a person or situation.
Expectations, some of you, have placed awfully high expectations on yourself, someone else or some situation and you are forever disappointed. Did you ever think that by placing these high expectations that you are setting yourself and others up for failure? We must let go of our expectations, it’s as if you are saying, “I expect this or that from you, and I will withhold my love, gratitude, etc. if you don’t live up to my expectations, my love for you is purely conditional, and based on my expectations of you.” When we place conditions on someone or something, we are sending out that energetic vibration. We are telling the Universe that we have conditions on our love and that we expect for this person or situation to be a certain way, and it’s as if by magic, they are exactly what you expected. YOU created this situation, instead of diffusing it by thinking the best of that person. I mean, don’t you want to be accepted for who you are? Don’t you want others to abandon their judgment of you and allow you to be who you were meant to be? Don’t you want to be loved and accepted, unconditionally?
There comes a time that you must take responsibility for your own thoughts and actions, and your life. The way you respond to any person or situation is completely in your control. Rather than overreacting, judging and causing drama, stop! Take a breath and ask, “What is it that I should be learning here?” We have the opportunity to be “born again”. Meaning, we don’t ALWAYS have to overreact—we don’t ALWAYS need to find a way to place blame on someone/something else, we don’t have to be a victim, we don’t have to cause drama and upset. We can choose to live our life in fear and blame, or we can accept that we are here, in this moment, and we can choose to be a better person, we are able, in any moment, to be “born again”. Be the person that accepts the new lesson with grace and dignity, through joy and love, learn the lesson, and move on.
When you look at every situation/person, positive or negative, know there is something to be learned. Think about it! In every situation you have learned some thing. Maybe you learned not to gossip, or to speak up for yourself in a sticky situation, not to eaves drop, or to be more assertive in your relationship or at your job, whatever it is for you. If it has come into your personal space, and you are being faced with it, there is something that you can and need to learn. It isn’t always about someone or something else.
I saw a great bumper sticker, years ago that said, “We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Look, there are going to be some bumpy times, but think about the lessons you are learning, the wisdom that you are gaining. Know that when you get the lessons when they are first introduced into your life, they will be much easier learned in that moment, than if you ignore the lesson and continue to force your will on others. Just know that the lesson will keep showing itself until you acknowledge and embrace the lesson. They will first come as a whisper and then a tap, then a push and then a cast iron skillet upside the head. I don’t know about you, but, I’d much rather acknowledge and accept the lesson while at the “whisper” stage because I don’t want to experience the harshness of the cast-iron skillet.
Know that where ever you are on your path; the Divine is always with you. Leading you, guiding you, you are never alone. Remember, YOU are STRONGER than you think you are!
Many Blessings on your journey—sending you love and light.
Saundra Berry, C.Ht.
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