Are You Frozen In Fear?
by Saundra Berry, C.Ht.
What is fear? Fear is the presence of anxiety or dread for something in our lives. Most of our fears are rooted in childhood because we have not had the life experience nor has our skill of logic and reasoning been fully formed. What we feared as a child, if we were faced with it as an adult, might not be a fear at all, because we are able to look at the situation and use our life experience and skills of logic and reasoning to work through it. However, if a fear began in childhood, more than likely we have carried that fear over into our adult lives, whether it is a rational or irrational fear, it is present in our adult decisions. FEAR- Forget Everything And Run.
The thing about “running” is that no matter where you go, YOU are always there. All of your behavior patterns, character defects and fears are right there with you. Therefore, to face our fear is to overcome the fear.
Perhaps as a child, while reading aloud in class, you mispronounced a word and everyone laughed at you and it was embarrassing or even hurtful. Maybe you were scheduled to play the lead in your school play and even though you memorized your lines, the moment you stepped on stage and saw all eyes on us, you froze and could not remember your lines; you might develop a fear of public speaking. Possibly, you were an athlete and you had a bad day and your performance was less than stellar and the game was lost due to your inability to perform your best and your teammates were not supportive; this situation might develop into fear of rejection or poor sports performance.
FEAR, it can be debilitating for some people and they begin to be so fearful in their lives they cannot make a decision, even the most simple of decisions. Life can begin to feel as though it is out of our control, it can feel like the walls are closing in on us and based on past experiences we do not even trust ourselves. Many times fear is simply the fear of the unknown. How many times have you been telling someone your fears and realize that it all stems in the unknown? Some will simply stop and do nothing, all in the name of fear.
So, how do we overcome our fears?
First, you need to bring everything out into the open. I suggest writing things down, this helps to keep thoughts and ideas together and allows you time to process things in a healthy way. Get yourself a journal, spiral notebook, or just some paper and give yourself permission to be honest with yourself. This process isn’t about anyone but you. Being honest with yourself is first and foremost, going to be THE major step in overcoming fears. Writing things down is a private exercise, so there should be no fear in doing this step. It is for you to see where you are and what needs to be done in order to overcome this fear of the unknown.
Second, it is important to look at each situation separately. It seems that when we become fearful, we begin to bunch all of our fears and problems together and then they become so overwhelming to us we become frozen in our fear unable to make any decisions. So, it is imperative that you look at each situation that elicits a fear based response separately, don’t bunch it all into one giant issue, because more than likely it is a bunch of little things that turn into one big thing. Therefore, keeping things in perspective is important. What you will begin to notice is that once you are writing things down and you see them in black and white in front of you, some of your fears will melt away simply by bringing them out into the open and your ability as an adult to place logic and reasoning on the situation.
Third, make a list of things that need to be looked at or decisions that need to be made. Make the list clear and concise. For instance, if you are struggling with money issues, it is important to bring everything out in the open. Yes, you must dig through all of that mail that has been piling up and go through it. Instead of being overwhelmed at the amount of mail that has piled up, look through it quickly, making stacks. One stack of what looks like junk mail that needs to be shred, one stack that are your bills, and one stack that you need to open and investigate. You can then go back later to do your shredding and investigation once you have completed the process of looking at your finances.
This exercise allows you to only deal with your bills and nothing else. Now, write down what your net income is for the month at the top of the page. Write down all of your expenses. In a column format write down the name of the bill, when it is due, the balance and how much you must pay each month to stay current. Now add lines below the bills of other monthly expenses, gas, groceries, and miscellaneous and subtract them from your net income, just like balancing your checkbook. Once you have done this you now have everything out in the open. You no longer need to fear the unknown, because it is all right there in front of you. This process allows you to know exactly where you stand. You may find that you are much better off financially than you once thought or perhaps you realize that you are spending more than you make. If the latter is what you are dealing with, it is time to re-evaluate what is most important. Maybe you will have to begin taking your lunch a few days a week, or not going to the movies, or cooking in rather than going out for dinner, cancel the cable, or simply make a switch to a more affordable plan. Maybe you will have to look for a job that brings more income into your household. Maybe you will have to reach out to others for help in order to bring things into a more stable situation. The bottom line here is that once you have done this process, you will begin to notice that the fear is lessened because you no longer fear the unknown. You now know exactly where you stand and you can begin to take steps to overcome your financial woes.
Fourth, begin a regimen of using positive affirmations daily and in order to lessen the burden by affirming that you are strong, wise, and courageous. Affirm that the situation is only temporary and you can make the changes effortlessly and easily in order to have a more secure future. Affirm that you have everything you need to make positive changes in your life and ALWAYS be in a state of GRATITUDE. Coming from the heart-centered space of gratitude allows you to lift your energy from the negative space of fear into the loving space of gratitude. We all have something(s) that we are grateful for in our lives and it is time to start acknowledging those for which we are grateful. Try to write down at least 5 things a day that you are grateful for in your life. What you will begin to notice, as you come from this space that 5 things isn’t enough, you have many more things that you are grateful for and your gratitude list will become longer and longer. Remember, the Law Of Attraction, LIKE ATTRACTS LIKE. Focus on gratitude and you will get more gratitude. Focus on affirming that you are financially stable and abundant and you will get more abundance in your life. Know that everything is working out in its right and perfect time. You are equipped to handle your life with confidence and the belief that you have everything you need in you in order to live a happy, healthy, successful, and abundant life.
In conclusion, the steps that we take in order to bring light on those things in which we fear can be used for anything that brings us a sense of uneasiness or fear. By writing things down, being honest with ourselves, taking positive action, and affirming that we are strong, wise, and courageous, we lessen and even alleviate our fears.
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